Dropping out of the challenge.

I have some good news!  My boss at the restaurant I just started working at asked me to become a manager there.  It would mean more money, a reliable paycheck and a lot more control over my own job and life.   It would, however, mean a lot more time at work, and they want me to start next week.  Seeing as I have about half the challenge (recording, performing, 8 classes, 1 lesson, 8 meals, 5 charity events, another audition) to do in the next ten days, not to mention working, attending a friend's wedding, helping with "Afterschool" (it counts for ONE of my charities even though I do it every week....grrr) and working my usual shifts at the restaurant, I'm not sure there are enough hours in the day to do all that AND sleep enough to be awake for all of it.  I put all my commitments into a google calendar and there is no way it can all happen with this job.  Hmmmmm, I think i need Hermione's time-turner right about now.  

  

So what will I do?  This job is a longer-term commitment than the challenge is, and it has to come first, so I can support myself.  I won't accomplish ANY of the artistic things I want to do if I am chewed up and spit out by the cost of living in NYC, and end up back at my parent's place.  This challenge has held me accountable to my practicing and taking class, and kicked my butt to do the things (like auditioning) I want to do but are uncomfortable, which is exactly what I wanted it for!  Finishing it and winning a great prize for my effort would be great too, though.  I want that recognition.  

So what will I do?  Do I make myself crazy and try to accomplish an impossible amount of things in a week, with the risk that I will not finish the challenge or that I will get my new job off to a bad start?  Or do I admit that this challenge has been amazing but it needs to take second priority to my new job and my long-term life?  Ugh, that sounds so responsible and boring.  

So that's what needs to happen.  I really hate quitting things!!!!!!  Even if it's the logical and better thing to do, i still feel inadequate.  Like somehow I am supposed to figure out a way to get around the the facts (24 hours in a day, sleep is necessary, the subway takes a certain time, etc) and accomplish more, more, more!  Maybe if mom and dad were still paying the bills I could focus fully on my education and performing, but that funding dried up a long time ago.  

This challenge has been such a great learning experience for me.  I have never before practiced singing EVERY day like that, and it has helped me so much!  It forced me to get back into dance class, which I had stopped for a while, and I am SO thankful for that!  I regret that I didn't record a demo or perform live yet (the challenge also reminded me how organized I need to be) and I doubt that I will get to do those things in the next week.  They were two things that are scary to me, but I know I will feel so much better once I "jump into the cold water" and just do them (in the next few weeks, i guess?).  

Kurt, thanks so much for organizing this.  I hope that lots of people manage to finish all their tasks and win all the great prizes!!

How am I doing?

Daily Practice - check.
4 Voice lessons - 2 down, 2 scheduled.  on track
2 Coaching sessions - 1 down, 1 tentatively tomorrow.  on track.
Perform live. - Next tuesday at webster hall
20 Dance classes.  12 down, 8 to go.
Record a demo. - not organized.  Kurt's suggestions yesterday were great, not sure when I can get this done.
Charity - 0 done.  2 events scheduled, 1 is getting organized.  1 was canceled :(, so I have to figure out to do 2 more.
Audition - I went to one and got typed out.  I'm planning on going to the Gateway Playhouse auditions on monday morning.
25 Healthy meals - 17 done, 8 left to go.

Daily Practice #18

Today I practiced in the evening.  My voice - like my body - is tired and tense tonight.....  but I guess that's what professionalism is:  doing it even when you don't feel like it, and working to make your bad days look (sound) like a good day!

Day 17

Today was a big day!

I went to Ripley Grier in the morning, and rented a room for $5 to warm up and practice!    Then I attended the audition for Chicago in Media, PA.  That's me (with no eyes) in the holding room.  A very sweet guy who was trying out for Mary Sunshine took the picture :)

I ate two healthy meals today (#15 & 16)  and took ballet with Natalia Stavro.  Rachel and CJ were also there. The picture of that class is on Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=10100890355826664&set=a.10100347693885544.3024948.8333527&type=1&theater

Then I went to work alllllllll night!

Daily Practice #16

I can't believe I have been doing this every day.  It is actually getting easier, and my voice falls into place a lot quicker each morning since I have been doing it.  I also feel like I have more control of my placement, and I can choose what kind of quality I want to use for each song.  Yay!

Meal #14

More healthy ingredients!

Dance Class #8&9

Two classes yesterday with very sweaty teachers :) Diane Laurenson and Matthew Powell!

Day 15 - Ingredient Diet

Today I practiced and ate some yummy "ingredients"  for breakfast before heading out to dance class.

Daily Practice #14

I really like how singing feels.  It's great to feel the difference - and hear it too- between the beginning of the practice session and the end.  Today I sang the songs from Finnian's Rainbow at the beginning of practicing.  They are both high, and so I need to use a lot of head voice, but I would like to mix the sound as much as possible because its a richer sound and both songs jump around to low notes.  At the beginning of practice, both songs were breathy, with a very obvious break between head and chest voice.  Then I sang through my book, which is mostly belting songs right now, and came back to the two new ones.  They felt so much better to sing and the sound was mixed and so much richer!  Yay learning, hehehe!

Daily Practice 13

Today I sang in the morning, and worked on memorizing the two new songs from Finnian's Rainbow.  The rythms are better now that Walter helped me yesterday. 

Day 13

Today I remembered to take pictures of my breakfast and lunch!  (Meal #11 & 12) My breakfast was fruit, tea, veggies, eggs and sausages that I made at home.  No gluten, lots of fresh stuff and protein! 

For lunch I had a turkey, avocado and cheese sandwich with a cup of butternut squash bisque soup.  Was this meal really healthy??  (If you don't want to hear me nerd-out on nutrition, stop reading now!)  It was mostly grains which are going to leach vitamins from my body, cause a huge spike (and drop) in insulin which cause my body to build fat and mess with my hormones, and create inflamation and mucus.  The turkey was low-fat, which left me unsatisfied and craving fat, and the avocado was pitifully small.  If I were to make this meal I would have had a whole avocado with organic turkey and no bread.  The soup was ok on its own so I guess I should have just stuck to that.  Meh. 

Day 12

What a great day!  I started out with a voice lesson with Janie Barnett: (Voice Lesson #2)

Then I went over to BDC and took Ballet with Natalia Stavro, along with two other dancers doing the challenge:  Lauren Cozza and Trisha Taitt.  (Dance class #7)

After that I had a big salad at Maoz (Meal #10)

 Then I went over to sing for an hour with my fabulous accompanist Walter Thompson!  (Coaching session #1) All that before 4pm! 


That night I ate a salad with sausages, but I forgot to take a picture, so I guess it doesnt count :(

Day 11

My entry on May 11 sadly was erased by Blogger, but I practiced on that day!  Also, Jorge and I took Intermediate Theater Performance with Diane Laurenson.  (Class #6) That night I ate chicken with peppers and sauce from Trader Joe's.  (Meal #9)  This meal was good because it had a lot of protein, and gluten-free, but it was frozen (instead of fresh), not organic (so the chickens were probably eating junk and living in their own dirt), and it hardly contained any fat.  I wish I had some avocados on hand for some yummy Omega-3's.  The meal was "healthy" for the purposes of this challenge, but what really is "healthy" anyway? 

Daily Practice #11

Today, my practice was lame, but I did it nonetheless!  I warmed up, and worked on learning "Look to the Rainbow" and "How are things in Glocca Morra" both from Finnian's Rainbow.  I'm planning on working on those both more with Walter tomorrow!

Healthy Meal #9

Lunch today: Chicken with peppers and onions from Trader Joe's.  What I like about this meal is that it has lots of protein, tastes yummy and is frozen (not as good as fresh, but better than salted, dried, canned, etc).  What I don't like is that it is not organic, so the chickens probably ate junk and took too much medicine, those "grill lines" are probably painted on, and there is hardly any fat in it!  I wish I had an avocado on the side so I could get my Omega-3's today....

Dance Class #6

Class today with the fabulous Diane Laurenson!  We did "Who's Got the Pain?" again today!

Dance Class #5

Why don't I ever take Natalia Stavro's class?  It was great!  A really overall good, efficient ballet class.  Loved it, and I have to go again.

Daily Practice #10

Warmed up, sang through "You can't get a man..." and "Hero" (which is bad right now), and worked on two new songs from Finian's Rainbow: "How are things in Glocca Morra" and "Look to the Rainbow"

Healthy Meal #8

I'm going to drown my troubles in a big bowl of nuts and berries....along with organic yogurt, a touch of honey and half a cantaloupe.

Scheduling

I hate myself today.  I hate that I can't do it all, and I think I can't even do some of it.  I was planning on going to the Rockettes audition today, and so even though I had to work last night, I got in bed exhausted around midnight and set my alarm for 6am.  My plan was to get up, shower, eat and run, and as long as I got there before 8am, I would be fine for the day.  I have to be at work at 2pm today, so hopefully I would get out of the audition by 1-ish.  Then I woke up this morning, and realized that I didn't plan any time to practice.  Plus, in my morning delirium I overslept and didn't wake up until after 7am.  Crap.  Now it is nearing 8am, and there is no way I will be out of the audition by 12 (to get to Ripley-Grier or somewhere to practice before going to work), if I get there at 9 and they start at 10.  Grrrrrr!  So now I am sad, in my leotard at home contemplating if I should go back to sleep or get the day started and plan on consoling myself with a dance class at noon.

Daily Practice #9

Kurt, thanks for making a CD that I can pop in and exercise to, which is exactly what I did while I washed dishes and cleaned up today.  Who says you can't multi-task?

Daily Practice #8

Today was a much better voice day! I vocalized to shake off the cobwebs and then sung through the 8 songs in my book right now.  It took about an hour and by the end of practicing, my voice felt relatively free. 

Daily Practice #7

     It was hard to practice today.  I was tired and didn't do it until late.  I'm not in my apartment, but out on Long Island where I grew up.  We were at a friend's beautiful old house so Matt pulled out the 1980's Cassio keyboard and plugged it in in a corner.  It was nice to sing with my boyfriend, but also difficult because we were trying to harmonize - which I suck at - and he was trying to teach me a new song.  I warmed up a bit and sang two new songs.  (From the movies "The Nightmare Before Christmas" and "Once")
     It is good that I am doing this challenge, because on a day like today I would have never decided to practice otherwise.  Being tired, out of place, in front of people, not at home, not feeling like it, etc. all are excuses not to practice, but it's good to do it anyway.  Tonight I am going to get lots of sleep and sing in the morning, so maybe I will have a better voice day tomorrow! 

Healthy Meal #7

Out and about today I grabbed a salad with pork and avocado, and ate it with a peppermint tea.

Status Update

•  4 Voice lessons - 1 down, 3 to go.  On track
• 2 Coaching sessions - 0.  I have to call Walter and set something up for next week.  
• Practice every day - 6 times in  6 days.  On track
• Perform live - No progress yet in planning this.  I'm scared and procrastinating.  
• See a show - No progress.  
• 1 Audition - Maybe next Monday.  I am working late on Sunday night, so I am not sure I can get it together.  
• Demo recording.  No progress.  
• 20 Healthy meals - 6 in 6 days.  On track
• 20 dance classes at BDC - 4 down, 16 to go.  I'm a bit behind on this because I am going to be away and working so I can't take class again until May 11....
• 5 Charitable deeds -  No progress!  I better plan this or I won't get it done :(   Any suggestions??

Daily Practice #6

I warmed up for a while and then sang through a few songs, but not my whole book.  I got almost 8 hours of sleep but I woke up exhausted and I felt really tired in my voice today too.  The high notes didn't really want to happen, and I had much more trouble mixing through my break than yesterday.  I ate fries and bread last night and drank beer, which I don't usually do, and I think my body was punishing me for it.  I sang anyway, and tried to play with placement to see if I could make a nice sound even though it felt tough.  I had to really work not to strain and shout.  Also, my roommate's friend is visiting and hanging out in the apartment, so I was a bit embarrassed to vocalize in front of her, especially on a bad day.  This weekend, I am going to my parents' house so I think it will be challenging to sing there as well (silence is golden in their house, and we are going to be busy with family events because my cousin is making his communion).  I am just going to have to plan ahead and allocate time both days.  Wish me luck!

Healthy Meal #6

Mmmmmm Baaaaaacon.....   I had organic bacon (no nitrates or antibiotics) with two scrambled eggs (also organic), half a green bell pepper, an orange and a pear.  I also had some coffee with it.  Coffee's not great for singing, but I just really had a craving this morning and I drink it so rarely so I went with my urge today.  yummy!

Daily Practice Cinco de Mayo

I vocalized for an hour, took a break and sang through my book for another hour!!  The muscles around my neck and the back of my throat were sore because i was belting yesterday, and in the process of trying to relax those muscles and place the sound correctly in my nose, I was doing a good bit of shouting.  Singing felt great today, though!  I gave myself permission to belt much higher notes than I usually sing, and it put everything in a much better placement and allowed me to slide through my break much easier than usual!  It was a good day for singing!  Now it's time for a cup of tea.....

Daily Practice #4

Today, I couldn't practice this morning because I ran out of time :(  So I went to my voice lesson without being really warmed up.  I think I would have gotten more out of it if I had vocalized this morning.  This afternoon, I did some exercises and sang through "Hero", "You can't get a man...", "your daddy's son" and "follow your heart"

Voice Lesson #1

At my voice lesson today, with Janie Barnett, I  belted the whole song of "You Can't Get a Man With a Gun" without going into head voice!  

Healthy Meal #5

Today I had a yummy breakfast of tea, an orange, a pear, some sausages, eggs and turkey.  Lots of fresh stuff and protein!

Dance Class #4

Another fabulous intermediate theater performance class with Diane Laurenson!

Healthy Meal #4

Why is my breakfast rotated to the side?  I had the same thing as yesterday, and some tea.

Practice Day #3

I practiced for only a half hour today....I did some short vocalizations and then sang through my new song (Hero) and an old song ("Dancing all the time" from Big the Musical) to get ready for my voice lesson tomorrow.

Dance Class #3

AdvBeg Tap with Jill.  Weird pic  : /

I also took Bettina Sheppard's Vocal Performance class today and sung "You Can't Get a Man With a Gun" which I have been working on with the fabulous accompanist Walter Thompson!

Meal #3

Does it count if you eat two meals in one day?  This was my lunch:  Chicken and veggies from a deli.  Plus a big piece of avocado...yum!

Healthy Meal #2

For Breakfast I'm having a bowl full of nuts:  Hemp nuts, Pumpkin seeds, sunflower seeds, Walnuts and raisins, and i'm going to cover it all with some organic yogurt.  I got all this stuff at the supermarket, and I'm making it at home.  Yogurt is dairy, which is not the best for singing, but it's probably the only dairy I will eat all day, so I guess it's ok.  The meal is full of probiotics, Omega3s, vitamins, protein, slow-releasing energy and it's gluten free!

Daily Practice #2

I went through Kurt's CD again and ran through the song I am going to sing today at Bettina's class.

Practice

Practice: 40 mins, going through the exercises from Kurt's CD.  Lots of phlegm moving around, but it feels great!

New Song

Possible new song.....Hero, usually sung by Mariah Carey.  I http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FVhrIfaPKxw

I usually sing musicals, and never pop, so if I am using this month to stretch, then I should sing a pop song!  Scary!  Any other pop songs I should be looking at?

Dance & Salad

Today I started off with Ballet with Dawn Hillen and followed it with a great Theater class with Diane Laurenson.   Then I ate a yummy green salad with OJ from Maoz!

Money

Here's what I think this challenge is going to cost me:

2x 10-class cards: $300
2x Accompanist: $80
4x Voice Lessons: $260
Kurt's CD: $25
Live Performance:  ....
Recording: .....

Total: $665 or more